Brook Farm Books

MARBLE GAMES. I always had marbles that I loved, but I never knew what to do with them. Now I do. This is a collection of 50 marble games. Line drawings illustrate the text. Ages 6 to 12. $4.50.

PARLOR GAMES. A collection of 50 unique parlor games that are played cooperatively. Amusing and challenging games for small and large groups. Little or no equipment needed, for a quiet evening or lively party. Ages 12 to adult. $4.50.

SPORTS MANUAL. Features 60 co-op sports games for ages 10 to adult. Detailed manual for athletics, gymnastics, team sports, stick and ball events, co-op billiards, and horseshoes, plus suggestions for running a co-op field day. 36 pages. Illustrated. $4.50.

***GAMES MANUAL*** Many times when we didn’t have a birthday to celebrate and the kids wanted a party, we would have an “unbirthday party” and invite everyone’s friends. Each person brought a small gift costing less than $5 that would do for a girl or a boy. We played games and had ice cream and cake — complete with lots and lots of candles. Everyone helped to blow out the candles (picture it!). I wish we’d had this collection of games to use. This book has 170 co-op games and activities for ages 3 to 12. Little or no equipment needed; good for small or large groups. Most games can be played indoors or out. You’ll never do better than this for price or value. $4.50.

UNTRIVIA. Finally! A game that asks practical questions about child-rearing, gardening, everyday law, travel, health, and more. It’s fine if you think you have the answer and maybe better if you discuss it before deciding. This is more the way our family always approached Trivial Pursuit. This game has “goof” tokens! A relaxing conversational game for older teens and adults. Highly recommended. Ages 12 to adult. 2 to 12 players. $24.00. Click on image for a larger view.

Parenting and Homeschooling THE NATURAL CHILD: Parenting From the Heart, by Jan Hunt. Hunt clearly puts forth the premises of this book in the first chapter. Here are a few of her points: “We understand that all children are doing the very best they can at every given moment. We trust that though children may be small in size, they deserve to have their needs taken seriously. We know that it is unrealistic to expect a child to behave perfectly at all times. We recognize that ‘bad behavior’ is the child’s attempt to communicate an important need in the best way she can. We learn to look beneath the child’s outward behavior to understand what he is thinking and feeling. We see that in a very beautiful way, our child teaches us what love is.” If you are having trouble accepting these concepts, this book will help you find your way to a peaceful and rewarding acceptance, or make you decide not to read it.

Another reason this book is here is that I believe that part of our duty as parents is to educate our children for the future, and we want a peaceful future for them. How we raise them, the unspoken values they learn even before we can communicate with words, is important. In the foreword, Peggy O’Mara of Mothering magazine writes: “Margaret Mead … said, ‘The most violent tribes were those that withheld touch in infancy.’ To me, it is very simple. The propensity to act aggressively is related to unmet needs. When we objectify our babies and manipulate their legitimate needs to meet our own comfort level or prescription for living, we may unknowingly put them at risk. We can instead choose to surrender to the mystery of our baby’s needs and the surprises he or she brings just as we would surrender and adapt to the surprises brought by a new love.”

At first I wasn’t sure why Hunt begins her book with the topic of child abuse and the cycle of violence it tends to perpetuate, but perhaps it is to clear the way so that even those with a history of abuse can find their way through the book and find peace in their own lives as parents.

This book can help you find the balance between discipline and spoiling, much in the same spirit as A.S. Neill draws the line between freedom and license in his book Freedom, Not License. You will find examples of how to deal constructively with misbehavior and difficult situations. The book progresses from infancy into adulthood, offering examples of problems and possible solutions. There is an emphasis on forgiveness — forgiving your child during trying times and forgiving yourself too, with the understanding that we are human and imperfect. It’s likely that you will not find the perfect example of your own problems, but you will learn the attitudes to develop so that you can cope and find your own constructive solutions. You will find advice about coping with your own preconceived and unconscious conditioning from your upbringing and how to make the changes you would like. Hunt has a lot to say about the inherent problem of rewards and finding an alternative to spanking, and there are very sane suggestions for coping with our seemingly hurried lives and making time for our children to just be children.

Although Hunt is an unschooling parent and there is much about parenting in general, you will quickly realize that her attitudes and suggestions are applicable to all styles of parenting, and so contribute to all styles of homeschooling. Her parenting ideas are what we used years ago, although we didn’t find that unschooling worked for us all the time. I like to think that unschooling in Hunt’s style would work for everyone, but I can’t convince myself that it would. Maybe someday it will be possible. I hope so. Hunt’s book is one to keep handy. Read it once to set yourself on the right track. Pick it up again any time you’re feeling stressed or need reinforcement. $16.95.

Homeschooling FUNDAMENTALS OF HOMESCHOOLING: Notes on Successful Family Living, by Ann Lahrson-Fisher. Ann continues her legacy of practical approaches to homeschooling in this book, which follows her first, Homeschooling in Oregon (still available from Ann at ann@nettlepatch.net), in which she basically says “relax.” Ann stresses (is that the right word to use after telling you to relax?) the importance of play — children playing and parents playing with their children. Her advice about talking together and listening to each other is a theme that runs throughout the book. She explores family issues and good ways to cope with them at various ages. All her main points show you how to connect within your family and with the community around you. You will also find good resources listed that you won’t find anyplace else and practical ways to use them. Reading this book will add new depth to your homeschooling experience.

I was reading the other day about some kids whose mom had decided not to engage them in the rat race. No after-school activities, no music lessons, no playdates, and only one hour of TV a day. After an initial period of the “I don’t know what to do’s” her kids learned to play — really play. They invented their own games and read and told stories, rode their bikes, played ball, and just hung out — happily. I wouldn’t go so far as to drop time with friends or the music lessons if the kids enjoy them, but I agree that the time to just play or do nothing is valuable. It’s part of childhood, or should be. I can remember days when time seemed elastic and the afternoons would stretch out seemingly forever, and not in a bad way. I don’t seem to have that sort of time as an adult. This is going to sound oxymoronic, but perhaps even now, as an adult, I should schedule in some time to do nothing or just lie outside and watch the clouds. $19.95.

Homeschooling THE TEENAGE LIBERATION HANDBOOK: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education, by Grace Llewellyn. Probably the best, most accurate review of this book was in Bloomsbury Review: “This is a very dangerous book. It contradicts all the conventional wisdom about dropouts and the importance of a formal education. It is funny and inspiring. Do not, under any circumstances, share this book with a bright, frustrated high-schooler being ground into mind-fudge by the school system. The writer cannot be responsible for the happiness and sense of personal responsibility that might come from reading this book.” Grace Llewellyn has compiled a fantastic array of ideas and resources for a very comprehensive unschooling education, in all the standard subjects and scores of non-standard ones — science, math, social sciences, English, languages, the arts, sports and athletics, outdoor jobs and activities, travel — through books, personal contacts, jobs, apprenticeships and internships, volunteering, social and political activism, and more. She offers very encouraging advice throughout the book, and illustrates her arguments with dozens of real-life stories (many borrowed from Growing Without Schooling) of kids who have done it. Even a homeschool with more structure than Grace advocates will find the numerous ideas and resources invaluable; for the truly unschooled teenager who is serious about doing more than watching TV, it will be an invaluable guidebook.

I have one major reservation, and a few minor ones. Like many unschoolers, Grace seems to think that any and all resources (people, places, etc.) are good — except the child’s own parents. The first thing to do after making the decision to quit school, Grace advises the teenaged reader, is “celebrate your audacity with deep chocolate ice cream” and then, step two, “consult your parents.” Some parents might feel they should have something to say about such a momentous decision, but Grace doesn’t seem to have much sympathy for them. “You might get this over with after dinner tonight,” she says, “or you might acclimate them slowly to the idea.” At least she realizes that some old fogies may be a little slow. “Fortunately,” she adds, “with a little care and planning, you will probably be able to help them see the light.” Ah, yes, we remember it well — our kids, at the age of 13 or 14, suddenly wise and mature, trying to help us see the light — and we, stubborn and over-protective, always in the way of their freedom and happiness, trying to keep them from frying their brains or wrapping themselves around a tree. Our own “fortunately” is that they soon saw the light and grew out of this phase almost as quickly as they had grown into it, and we continued our lives together as friends and family. Overprotective or not, we still think that most kids of 13 or 14, and even some of 16 or 17, are not ready to take on the entire world on their own terms alone, with no consideration for their parents’ opinions, guidance — and yes, even a few rules now and then. There are exceptions, of course, but even for them there is seldom any excuse for presenting parents with ultimatums and sudden declarations of independence.

My minor reservations about the book have to do with some of Grace’s recommended reading for the newly liberated teenager. We happen to agree with most of her choices, but a few of them seem to encourage a “liberation” with which we cannot agree. Poe, Gibran, Thoreau, the Bible, Blake, Shakespeare — excellent choices. But Grace also recommends Rubyfruit Jungle, by Rita Mae Brown, with the parenthetical note that it’s “sexually explicit, offends a lot of people,” which is putting it very mildly. She recommends The Color Purple, by Alice Walker, without mentioning that it’s largely about incestuous rape, sexual promiscuity, and infidelity. She does admit that Tom Robbins’ Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is “rated R — some sex, some drugs,” but her idea of some is a long way from the book’s nearly total preoccupation with random promiscuity and constant drug use. Grace’s list of “poetry” looks okay, except “poetry by Sappho,” which is of course explicitly lesbian. In what she calls “a short list especially tailored for searching teenagers,” I think she could have made better choices than these.

These reservations are concerned with a tiny part of the book, and shouldn’t keep you from buying it and using it, but keep in mind that the author has her own orientation and opinions, and you may not always agree with her.

P.S. A reader recently pointed out that Grace has no children of her own. Our reader wondered if Grace would be as liberal with her own children at the expense of parental judgment. Me too. $20.

Homeschooling THE UNSCHOOLING HANDBOOK: How to Use the Whole World as Your Child’s Classroom, by Mary Griffith. This book kept me awake even at a very late hour. I enjoyed and learned from the creative ideas presented by her many contributors about how they expanded their children’s knowledge and enjoyment in their learning activities. I liked her broad definition of a classroom. This book begins with suggestions and thoughts about unschooling that can help you decide if it’s something you want to do — and can do. It continues on to cover all the subjects expected by schools and interesting unschooling approaches used by her contributors. The variety of approaches adds depth and interest and offers good suggestions. At the end of each chapter is an example of how that chapter’s subject would be covered throughout an unschooling day, along with a list of very good resource books. $16.95.

HOMESCHOOLING AND THE VOYAGE OF SELF-DISCOVERY: A Journey of Original Seeking, by David H. Albert. A unique, wise, witty, literate, useful, philosophical, and thought-provoking journey for homeschooling parents and thoughtful educators. There isn’t a comparable work available for those seeking to enrich and expand their homeschooling horizons into a life-altering experience for themselves and their children.

David asks the most magnificent questions that will provoke you into turning ideas on their heads, but he doesn’t always give you the answers. Instead, you are invited and challenged to find your own. He has the unique ability to find the kernel of truth in a quagmire and let it shine for us. I consider reading this book a major step forward in my own continuing education. $17.95.