Brook Farm Books

Parenting and Homeschooling THE NATURAL CHILD: Parenting From the Heart, by Jan Hunt. Hunt clearly puts forth the premises of this book in the first chapter. Here are a few of her points: “We understand that all children are doing the very best they can at every given moment. We trust that though children may be small in size, they deserve to have their needs taken seriously. We know that it is unrealistic to expect a child to behave perfectly at all times. We recognize that ‘bad behavior’ is the child’s attempt to communicate an important need in the best way she can. We learn to look beneath the child’s outward behavior to understand what he is thinking and feeling. We see that in a very beautiful way, our child teaches us what love is.” If you are having trouble accepting these concepts, this book will help you find your way to a peaceful and rewarding acceptance, or make you decide not to read it.

Another reason this book is here is that I believe that part of our duty as parents is to educate our children for the future, and we want a peaceful future for them. How we raise them, the unspoken values they learn even before we can communicate with words, is important. In the foreword, Peggy O’Mara of Mothering magazine writes: “Margaret Mead … said, ‘The most violent tribes were those that withheld touch in infancy.’ To me, it is very simple. The propensity to act aggressively is related to unmet needs. When we objectify our babies and manipulate their legitimate needs to meet our own comfort level or prescription for living, we may unknowingly put them at risk. We can instead choose to surrender to the mystery of our baby’s needs and the surprises he or she brings just as we would surrender and adapt to the surprises brought by a new love.”

At first I wasn’t sure why Hunt begins her book with the topic of child abuse and the cycle of violence it tends to perpetuate, but perhaps it is to clear the way so that even those with a history of abuse can find their way through the book and find peace in their own lives as parents.

This book can help you find the balance between discipline and spoiling, much in the same spirit as A.S. Neill draws the line between freedom and license in his book Freedom, Not License. You will find examples of how to deal constructively with misbehavior and difficult situations. The book progresses from infancy into adulthood, offering examples of problems and possible solutions. There is an emphasis on forgiveness — forgiving your child during trying times and forgiving yourself too, with the understanding that we are human and imperfect. It’s likely that you will not find the perfect example of your own problems, but you will learn the attitudes to develop so that you can cope and find your own constructive solutions. You will find advice about coping with your own preconceived and unconscious conditioning from your upbringing and how to make the changes you would like. Hunt has a lot to say about the inherent problem of rewards and finding an alternative to spanking, and there are very sane suggestions for coping with our seemingly hurried lives and making time for our children to just be children.

Although Hunt is an unschooling parent and there is much about parenting in general, you will quickly realize that her attitudes and suggestions are applicable to all styles of parenting, and so contribute to all styles of homeschooling. Her parenting ideas are what we used years ago, although we didn’t find that unschooling worked for us all the time. I like to think that unschooling in Hunt’s style would work for everyone, but I can’t convince myself that it would. Maybe someday it will be possible. I hope so. Hunt’s book is one to keep handy. Read it once to set yourself on the right track. Pick it up again any time you’re feeling stressed or need reinforcement. $16.95.

Homeschooling web site. SHAY SEABORNE has some great essays on her website. “Confessions of a Homeschool Exclusionist” is a must-read: www.synergyfield.com/exclusionist.asp.

Homeschooling web site. Best of Homeschooling: www.besthomeschooling.org has a wealth of information on just about all areas of interest to homeschoolers and suggestions of where to go if you don’t find what you’re looking for. It’s noncommercial and low-key, and you’ll want to bring a cup of coffee or tea with you when you sit down to explore this site. I hope your drink doesn’t get cold while you’re fascinated with all you find here.

Homeschooling web sites. Ann Zeise’s A TO Z HOME’S COOL: www.homeschooling.gomilpitas.com. This site can be viewed in Spanish (www.tinyurl.com/nmst) and French (www.tinyurl.com/nmsv).

SCHOOL FREE: The Home Schooling Handbook, by Wendy Priesnitz, one of Canada’s leading homeschooling advocates and pioneers. This book provides an overview and sampling of experiences of homeschoolers across Canada, plus basic legal information. 140 pages including index. You can order the book from Natural Life Books.

Homeschooling TAKING CHARGE THROUGH HOME SCHOOLING: Pesonal and Political Empowerment, by Larry and Susan Kaseman. “Empowerment,” say the authors, “includes identifying options and realizing that we can make choices and act on them, that we can take charge.” Taking charge begins with making one’s own choices about education (or anything else), which in itself is a political action, but the freedom to choose can be regained and held only by being politically active; i.e., by being aware of laws and lawmaking trends that affect homeschooling, and by taking an active part in influencing those laws. This is a very clear, comprehensive explanation of the many ways in which laws are made and how they can be influenced, and should certainly be read by anyone faced with legal or social opposition to homeschooling. Although the greater part of this book is concerned with political involvement, I think the Kasemans’ suggestions regarding the everyday experience of home-schooling are just as important and useful, and make this a very valuable book even for those who don’t feel ready to become politically active, or for whom just the decision to teach at home is sufficient challenge.

I think this book is more important now than ever. Although homeschooling is now legal across North America and there are more homeschoolers than ever before, there is also a stronger movement to regulate and control it than ever before. If you don’t believe this or are just unaware of this move toward governmental regulation, read Home Education Magazine. Having won our freedom to teach at home, we now need to protect it. $12.95 plus $2 shipping and handling from Koshkonong Press, 2545 Koshkonong Rd., Stroughton, WI 53589.

THE COMPLETE HOME LEARNING SOURCE BOOK: The Essential Resource Guide for Homeschoolers, Parents, and Educators Covering Every Subject From Arithmetic to Zoology, by Rebecca Rupp. Rebecca has spent years finding resources and sharing them through her column for Home Education Magazine and in her earlier books. This is a mind-boggling collection of the good learning tools. As Donn said in the last Home School Source Book, “It’s a little difficult for the author of a resource guide to review someone else’s resource guide, unless there are major disagreements in subject matter or philosophy. … I don’t think I disagree with any of her choices, although only a small number of them appear in this book. That means you can consult both books with little chance of duplicated reviews.” $29.95.

Homeschooling LIVING IS LEARNING curriculum guides are designed to be useful to all homeschoolers. These guides have all the basic information about what is usually taught for a particular age group. What makes them different from the World Book guides (free and listed below) is that Nancy Plent has included many good resources for finding the information you want to teach and special suggestions for unschooled learning, such as how to do it, how to keep useful records (for yourself and for school or state), and much more. Nancy offers a multitude of other good materials as well, so ask about her other pre-K through high school resources. From Nancy Plent, Unschoolers Network, 2 Smith St., Farmingdale, NJ 07727.

Homeschooling HOME LEARNING YEAR BY YEAR, by Rebecca Rupp, is good guide for creating your own curriculum for grades pre-K through high school. This book follows the public model but will allow you to tailor your homeschool to your child’s needs. I think it will allow you to create a compromise between recreating a “public school” atmosphere at home and the unstructured “unschooling” approach. Becky includes a useful listing of resources to support her suggestions. $14.95.

Homeschooling FUNDAMENTALS OF HOMESCHOOLING: Notes on Successful Family Living, by Ann Lahrson-Fisher. Ann continues her legacy of practical approaches to homeschooling in this book, which follows her first, Homeschooling in Oregon (still available from Ann at ann@nettlepatch.net), in which she basically says “relax.” Ann stresses (is that the right word to use after telling you to relax?) the importance of play — children playing and parents playing with their children. Her advice about talking together and listening to each other is a theme that runs throughout the book. She explores family issues and good ways to cope with them at various ages. All her main points show you how to connect within your family and with the community around you. You will also find good resources listed that you won’t find anyplace else and practical ways to use them. Reading this book will add new depth to your homeschooling experience.

I was reading the other day about some kids whose mom had decided not to engage them in the rat race. No after-school activities, no music lessons, no playdates, and only one hour of TV a day. After an initial period of the “I don’t know what to do’s” her kids learned to play — really play. They invented their own games and read and told stories, rode their bikes, played ball, and just hung out — happily. I wouldn’t go so far as to drop time with friends or the music lessons if the kids enjoy them, but I agree that the time to just play or do nothing is valuable. It’s part of childhood, or should be. I can remember days when time seemed elastic and the afternoons would stretch out seemingly forever, and not in a bad way. I don’t seem to have that sort of time as an adult. This is going to sound oxymoronic, but perhaps even now, as an adult, I should schedule in some time to do nothing or just lie outside and watch the clouds. $19.95.