Brook Farm Books

Parenting and Homeschooling THE NATURAL CHILD: Parenting From the Heart, by Jan Hunt. Hunt clearly puts forth the premises of this book in the first chapter. Here are a few of her points: “We understand that all children are doing the very best they can at every given moment. We trust that though children may be small in size, they deserve to have their needs taken seriously. We know that it is unrealistic to expect a child to behave perfectly at all times. We recognize that ‘bad behavior’ is the child’s attempt to communicate an important need in the best way she can. We learn to look beneath the child’s outward behavior to understand what he is thinking and feeling. We see that in a very beautiful way, our child teaches us what love is.” If you are having trouble accepting these concepts, this book will help you find your way to a peaceful and rewarding acceptance, or make you decide not to read it.

Another reason this book is here is that I believe that part of our duty as parents is to educate our children for the future, and we want a peaceful future for them. How we raise them, the unspoken values they learn even before we can communicate with words, is important. In the foreword, Peggy O’Mara of Mothering magazine writes: “Margaret Mead … said, ‘The most violent tribes were those that withheld touch in infancy.’ To me, it is very simple. The propensity to act aggressively is related to unmet needs. When we objectify our babies and manipulate their legitimate needs to meet our own comfort level or prescription for living, we may unknowingly put them at risk. We can instead choose to surrender to the mystery of our baby’s needs and the surprises he or she brings just as we would surrender and adapt to the surprises brought by a new love.”

At first I wasn’t sure why Hunt begins her book with the topic of child abuse and the cycle of violence it tends to perpetuate, but perhaps it is to clear the way so that even those with a history of abuse can find their way through the book and find peace in their own lives as parents.

This book can help you find the balance between discipline and spoiling, much in the same spirit as A.S. Neill draws the line between freedom and license in his book Freedom, Not License. You will find examples of how to deal constructively with misbehavior and difficult situations. The book progresses from infancy into adulthood, offering examples of problems and possible solutions. There is an emphasis on forgiveness — forgiving your child during trying times and forgiving yourself too, with the understanding that we are human and imperfect. It’s likely that you will not find the perfect example of your own problems, but you will learn the attitudes to develop so that you can cope and find your own constructive solutions. You will find advice about coping with your own preconceived and unconscious conditioning from your upbringing and how to make the changes you would like. Hunt has a lot to say about the inherent problem of rewards and finding an alternative to spanking, and there are very sane suggestions for coping with our seemingly hurried lives and making time for our children to just be children.

Although Hunt is an unschooling parent and there is much about parenting in general, you will quickly realize that her attitudes and suggestions are applicable to all styles of parenting, and so contribute to all styles of homeschooling. Her parenting ideas are what we used years ago, although we didn’t find that unschooling worked for us all the time. I like to think that unschooling in Hunt’s style would work for everyone, but I can’t convince myself that it would. Maybe someday it will be possible. I hope so. Hunt’s book is one to keep handy. Read it once to set yourself on the right track. Pick it up again any time you’re feeling stressed or need reinforcement. $16.95.

Homeschooling HOME LEARNING YEAR BY YEAR, by Rebecca Rupp, is good guide for creating your own curriculum for grades pre-K through high school. This book follows the public model but will allow you to tailor your homeschool to your child’s needs. I think it will allow you to create a compromise between recreating a “public school” atmosphere at home and the unstructured “unschooling” approach. Becky includes a useful listing of resources to support her suggestions. $14.95.

Homeschooling FUNDAMENTALS OF HOMESCHOOLING: Notes on Successful Family Living, by Ann Lahrson-Fisher. Ann continues her legacy of practical approaches to homeschooling in this book, which follows her first, Homeschooling in Oregon (still available from Ann at ann@nettlepatch.net), in which she basically says “relax.” Ann stresses (is that the right word to use after telling you to relax?) the importance of play — children playing and parents playing with their children. Her advice about talking together and listening to each other is a theme that runs throughout the book. She explores family issues and good ways to cope with them at various ages. All her main points show you how to connect within your family and with the community around you. You will also find good resources listed that you won’t find anyplace else and practical ways to use them. Reading this book will add new depth to your homeschooling experience.

I was reading the other day about some kids whose mom had decided not to engage them in the rat race. No after-school activities, no music lessons, no playdates, and only one hour of TV a day. After an initial period of the “I don’t know what to do’s” her kids learned to play — really play. They invented their own games and read and told stories, rode their bikes, played ball, and just hung out — happily. I wouldn’t go so far as to drop time with friends or the music lessons if the kids enjoy them, but I agree that the time to just play or do nothing is valuable. It’s part of childhood, or should be. I can remember days when time seemed elastic and the afternoons would stretch out seemingly forever, and not in a bad way. I don’t seem to have that sort of time as an adult. This is going to sound oxymoronic, but perhaps even now, as an adult, I should schedule in some time to do nothing or just lie outside and watch the clouds. $19.95.

Homeschooling THE UNSCHOOLING HANDBOOK: How to Use the Whole World as Your Child’s Classroom, by Mary Griffith. This book kept me awake even at a very late hour. I enjoyed and learned from the creative ideas presented by her many contributors about how they expanded their children’s knowledge and enjoyment in their learning activities. I liked her broad definition of a classroom. This book begins with suggestions and thoughts about unschooling that can help you decide if it’s something you want to do — and can do. It continues on to cover all the subjects expected by schools and interesting unschooling approaches used by her contributors. The variety of approaches adds depth and interest and offers good suggestions. At the end of each chapter is an example of how that chapter’s subject would be covered throughout an unschooling day, along with a list of very good resource books. $16.95.

Homeschooling HAVE FUN. LEARN STUFF. GROW. is also by David Albert. When I first picked up this book I thought it was another homeschooling book when I read the title. Well it is, and then again it isn’t, and then again, it is. It begins with a glass-half-full–half-empty metaphor. This should make you stop and think right there. We all develop, consciously or not, an outlook on life and relationships, and the fact that this challenge is right up front is appropriate. Those with the (half) empty outlook will either think more about it or retreat.
This book is a delightful mix of philosophy, metaphor, storytelling, and how to homeschool in freedom, and it’s not just about freedom for the kids.

The chapters about math and spelling should be mandatory for all parents and teachers. As a self-confessed math phobic I dearly wish someone had figured out the “best” way to not teach math when I was “doing time” in the public school system. I’m going to have to try the unspelling myself. If it will work with me it will work with anyone. I have always learned best from my failures.

David sorted out for me the roots of the “video” obsession some kids have. It’s bothered me for some time but I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it. Control is the issue. It makes sense. I am grateful that he put it all in perspective too. Who wants their kids playing violent games, even if they are “only” games? It’s an oxymoron, but I am fiercely opposed to teaching or supporting violence (should we add intolerance here too?) in any way.

In reading this book I came away feeling that as a parent, homeschooling or otherwise, one of the best teaching/learning tools available is how to learn within the context of your own life. $14.95.

Homeschooling LEARNING AT HOME: A Mother’s Guide to Homeschooling, by Marty Layne (and recently updated) mother of four homeschooled young adults. Learning at Home is a personal book. Marty’s insights about interacting with her children should be used by all parents and teachers even though it was written primarily for homeschooling parents. What makes this book exceptional are Marty’s observations about the interaction between parents and children. She has an acute awareness of how children learn best and how to help them. Marty shares her insight into how to see and work through the conditioned responses we all subconsciously carry from society, our own upbringing, and our schooling in order to create a harmonious homeschool environment. The book begins by taking a close look at the answer to the very common question “Can I do this — teach my child at home?” You’ll find Marty has the unique capacity to help you sort out your inner thoughts and motivations and recognize your fears (and learn how to deal with them), and to impart confidence. You’ll find numerous comments and suggestions for creating a learning environment to suit yourself and your children, and the emphasis is always on how to relate and respond to your children, and how to best meet their needs and your own. Yes, Mom and Dad, you have to take care of your needs too; that’s a strong part of Marty’s message. Being a good mate and parent presents many challenges. Add teaching (working with, guiding, whatever you want to call it), and you’ve added to those challenges exponentially. Unless you’re superwoman or superman you’re going to find your life, at times, more stressful than is reasonable. Marty’s chapter on burnout — how to recognize it, what to do about it, and (most constructive of all) how to prevent it — is the best I’ve seen. This is a book designed for real people. She recognizes that parents as well as kids have times when they are grumpy, that there are times when the kids get bored or are unhappy, and she offers some interesting observations about why these times happen and some ideas for improving the situation.

Along with all this sagacious writing about critical issues, you’ll find chapters about helping your child learn to read, write, and do arithmetic; the importance of including the arts (music, art, dance, and drama); and using all of life as a curriculum. Many of us have read about homeschoolers becoming accomplished musicians at a young age, going to prestigious colleges, or doing other remarkable things. Marty makes the important point that homeschooling can “allow time to pursue an interest and reveal talent but can’t create it.” Thankfully, Marty recognizes that not all children develop remarkable talents or abiding interests, and points out that there are important talents our society does not recognize: “We tend to recognize only outstanding gifts that fall in recognized categories like art, music, drama, or sports. We are not willing to recognize talent for something like happiness, listening to others, being a warm person, taking delight in a rainy day.” I particularly value this observation because more important than any talent or recognition, living well with ourselves and those around us is one of life’s true goals and rewards. There is so much depth to this book that it’s worth reading and rereading.

If you are considering homeschooling it will help you decide if this is really what you want to do and how to do it successfully. This book also has great value to those who have been homeschooling for a while, because Marty has given so much thought to issues that frequently cause problems in daily homeschooling, and clearly states ways to help you deal with them.

October, 2009: Marty has just updated her book and added a chapter about reading. Her ideas are superb. A great addition to a terrific book.

The end of the book contains several very useful appendices, with a list of read-a-loud books, a bibliography, help in setting goals, and addresses for U.S. and Canadian support. $18.95.

Homeschooling THE HOMESCHOOLING BOOK OF ANSWERS, by Linda Dobson. Amazing! A book with more answers than questions. How can that be? Read on! Drawing from years of experience homeschooling her own family, time spent helping other homeschoolers through workshops, and her extensive body of written work about homeschooling, Linda has posed more than 80 of the most important, most frequently asked questions about homeschooling and asked more than 35 of homeschooling’s most respected voices to contribute answers. Issues of structure, expense, socialization, dealing with officials, resources, and many more are answered here. Reading this book is like attending a homeschooling forum and hearing the most experienced people in the field express their ideas and opinions. Best of all, each question is answered by at least two people so you can consider differing points of view and form your own conclusions. I found it interesting to see where contributors agreed (without any consultation) and where they differed. The greatest value of this book lies not in the number of questions that are answered, but in the rich diversity of answers. You will come away from this book knowing that there are as many ways to homeschool as there are homeschooling families. These “expert” answers come from a combined total of more than 500 years of personal experience, experimentation, observation, and the courage to pursue personal dreams and values. This is a book for all homeschoolers. Reading it will empower you as you experiment and find the best learning style for you and your family. $17.95.

Homeschooling THE FIRST YEAR OF HOMESCHOOLING YOUR CHILD: Your Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start, by Linda Dobson. This book starts off acknowledging all the doubts, fears, and questions you may have about beginning homeschooling. Then it goes on to make you feel comfortable and competent to deal with these uncertainties whether your child has been in school before or you are beginning this journey before your child has attended public school.

Those of us who have homeschooled our children over a long period of time know how important it is to develop a philosophy about learning at home. We understand how important it is to be flexible and recognize each child’s learning style. Linda offers some clear guidelines and sound recommendations to help beginners. There is a very clear overview of a variety of approaches and very practical suggestions for using them.

In this book you will see that it is possible to homeschool children under a variety of circumstances. You’ll find examples of two-income families juggling time and needs, those who choose to homeschool because of medical or other special needs of parents or children. You’ll find stories of families who homeschool for academic reasons or just because they want to spend more time together.

Along with learning from Linda’s years of experience, you’ll learn from many others who contributed their insights into the question “What do I wish someone had told me during my first year of homeschooling?” $16.95.

Parenting and Homeschooling ABOVE ALL, BE KIND: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times, by Zoe Weil.
Weil could have called this book Your Life Is Your Message. She says, “More than anything you will ever say to your children, your life — the choices you make and the values you embody — will be their biggest teacher.” How do you do this? Weil uses a four-step process to help make evaluations and decisions.

I got this book thinking it was about family living. I am so glad I was wrong. The scope of this book encompasses families, communities, and all the people whose lives we touch through the ripples of our actions. Did you know that it would require four earths for everyone on the planet to live the lifestyle of North Americans? This book offers facts like this that will alarm you, and you will find information to help you research the subject so you can make your own evaluations and make a change for the better.

Weil has written chapters to cover the early, middle, and high school years with thoughts and suggestions for what values each age can assimilate, the problems encountered, parenting challenges, and best of all some solutions you can use. Here is an excerpt from the chapter about the middle years:

The book ends with stories of young adults who learned how to make a difference in their world and consequently the world at large. There is a questionnaire you can use to help you think about your life and the changes you would like to make, and a place to write about what you will do about it. There is also a long list of organizations you can go to for information and concrete ways you can make a difference. This book is a thought-provoking tool. $17.95. Also available as an audio book from Amazon.

Homeschooling Help and Support THE AMERICAN HOMESCHOOL ASSOCIATION (AHA), www.americanhomeschoolassociation.org, is a non-profit service organization open to all, created in 1995 to network homeschoolers on a national level and to provide news and information about homeschooling. Current AHA services include an online discussion list providing news, information, networking, and resources; a free e-mail newsletter; and a website providing categorized links to the most helpful and informative pages of homeschooling information on the Internet (including a collection of columns from Home Education Magazine by Larry and Susan Kaseman, authors of Taking Charge Through Homeschooling: Personal and Political Empowerment, addressing issues such as working for homeschooling freedoms, curfews, “homeschooling” programs in the public schools, user-friendly homeschooling records, tax credits and homeschooling, homeschoolers playing public school sports, the question of credentials, the school-to-work program, homeschooling legislation, doing the minimum to comply with homeschooling laws, and much more). It is a showcase of the best writing on a wide variety of topics, from sources all across the Internet.